Schools out
If you didn’t already know, I decided not to be a teacher anymore. I’m one of the teachers who left the profession this year (I’m trying to get myself to go back for the last year of my certification, but we’ll see) so I’ll give you my personal experience.
In Florida, there were no teachers even 5 years ago when I moved here. They have a program where if you have a bachelors degree (in any area) you can take a few certification exams and become a teacher if you pass (these tests are hard!). So, I became certified in ESE (exceptional student education) K-12. I started out as a sub, and I subbed a few days at an alternative school and I got offered a job there without an interview (the fact that I came back was enough to qualify me!). I can handle aggressive behavior, eloping, verbal aggression… I almost felt that since most people aren’t cut out for a place like that, I was obligated to do it.
I can’t even begin to explain my first year teaching. Even if I did, you wouldn’t believe the stories that came out of that year. Kindergarten at an alternative school. Our school was like the last stop till juvie or residential mental health placement. Our goal truly was to help figure out what was going on with students and what was actually causing their behavior problems, not just trying to discipline them away. I had the BEST students that year. And, I mean the OPPOSITE of well behaved and academically diligent. They were bananas-pretty sure every single one tried to beat me and wreck our classroom (they were successful at times!). I adored them. These are the kids who are born addicted, who are abused, who are trafficked. Some are still dealing with it, some are with foster/adoptive families and are dealing with the aftermath. How people can think these little 4 and 5 year olds are “bad” is beyond me. I learned a very valuable lesson that year… there is not one disciplinary strategy that will work if kids don’t think you like them. And no surprise, most of my students weren’t liked by their previous teachers. I was successful that year because myself and my aides genuinely loved our students. The students behaved for us because they knew they mattered to us when most people rejected them. There was a lot of trial and error with every kid, but the single commonality was the positive relationship.
Through the years, I ALWAYS had stuff happening with Ian. Appointments, hospital stays, the entire beginning of 2019 when my wonderful boss let Ian come to work with my very pregnant self because the district wouldn’t let him go to his own class(I could write a WHOLE book on why that was necessary… I digress) so my supervisor and coworkers were really supportive and accommodating. But, I always got all my work done, my kids were successful, and my time (albeit sneaking out a little early sometimes for appointments) was my allotted sick time. I busted ass through the teaching nightmare of Covid. I was rated highly effective. Someone said to me once, “your lucky they let you get away with so much”. Get away with what? Doing my job DESPITE my kid being in the hospital a lot? It seems pretty appropriate to accommodate/retain an employee who is beneficial to your organization.
Then, in year 3, Ian died. I tried to work pretty quickly, but was only working 1/2 days and calling out sick a lot, and it was all covered under intermittent FMLA. But, by March I couldn’t keep it together and took a leave of absence for the remainder of the year. So I returned for year 4, but I was pregnant. I thought I would be ok, but I got moved out of kindergarten to 3rd grade so it was a big change. I started getting sick-I lost almost 30lbs and was having panic attacks before going in. My doctor wanted me to stop working completely, but was willing to let me work part-time. The district said, “no”. Our job doesn’t allow for part-time. I said I would bump down to a sub (I obviously understand not getting benefits if I don’t work full time), but if I did that I would no longer be employed by the district (yes, substitutes are contracted through a third party now), so I would lose my vested time AND it would be probable that my assignments would not be at my school. Normally, I could use FMLA, but since I used it WHEN MY CHILD DIED I wasn’t eligible. So, in order to keep my baby healthy, I had no choice but to leave.
So, not only does no one want to teach at an alternative school, no one is teaching anymore to begin with. So, no surprise, they never filled my position. So, instead of letting an effective, caring teacher there part-time, no one is there. Makes sense.
This doesn’t even cover my typical teacher grievances. I never once had up to date materials (literally did not have textbooks or workbooks for any subject). Was still pressured into adhering to academic standards when my students couldn’t even walk into a room without calling everyone “dumb ass hoes” (seriously upper administration-let us teachers read the room and decide what to prioritize). We sit in cinder block classrooms with no windows and kids are fed awful food and forced into lockdowns over threats of violence-the atmosphere mimics actual prison. I was in a position where I could have gotten seriously hurt, where I was more susceptible to being accused of hurting a child and losing my whole career or even face criminal charges. I knew what I signed up for, but didn’t receive any compensation for the assumed risk. Bills are being put into place where they can assess our political beliefs and accuse us of indoctrination. We’re being used as political pawns (when, at least while they’re at school, Teachers are the most objective group I’ve ever seen in a workplace) and we just aren’t being paid enough for what our job is. I came home with approximately $3700/month. 2 kids in daycare is about $2000/month. So, $1700/month. Yup, that’s it. I hate what education has become, but I love being an educator.
So my question is: do I stay out of education or do I go back for that last year and try to make some changes? I can be good shaking things up. Is the stress worth it though? Can I maybe reach just one more little love and make a difference?
PS:I don’t want to get shot