good decisions

One of the things that is really prevelant in our society is that going to rehab, seeing a therpist, or going to residential facility as shameful, bad, disappointing. That people who don’t have to do these things are considered “morally superior”. But what actually constitues having good moral character? Here’s one thing I know to be true: there is not one person alive that hasn’t had bad judgement, made mistakes, hurt people-it’s not even possible. So let’s leave “being good” out the equation when discussing morality. But what about making good decisions? That usually comes with age, but eventually you make a concious effort to make good decisions for yourself or your family. We praise people for making good decisions-you decided to get an education? good decision. You decided to go to your kids birthday party instead of going to the track? good decision. You decided to go to bed early before work? good decision. You decided to get mental health treatment (which is what rehab is essentially as well)…. woah, woah, woah…that’s pretty bad….somethings wrong with you….you are a terrible parent….now your too morally shameful to hold a respectable job… I’m so embarrassed I know you…hush hush, whisper whisper. WRONG! GOOD DECISION! Espescially when you are a parent. You chose the moral highground to be a better person, by seeing a therapist, by going to treatment. When a person actually wants to get help at one of these places they have to disregard what the judgemental people say to make the good decision. For them, for their families. We should be praising people who want to be morally responsible and make the next good decision. What makes us good parents isn’t doing everything right, but making the next good decision for ourselves and our children. For example, my decision to write this blog, and how it could effect my children:

Not writing it: Kids won’t be embarrassed; I still look like the perfect teacher; people won’t judge me

Writing it: I might get fired, and people might judge me, but I will finally be living my truth, I won’t be carry a heavy lie, I will be less depressed, I have a place where I can talk about Ian when ever I want, maybe I can help someone

Now, Which decision would be best for my kids? The one that produces the happy mom-that’s how I know it’s a good decision.

Sometimes things go horribly wrong, and our attempt at a good decision turns into shit (like a relapse). But the beauty of it is, we can still make the next good decision. Having morals doesn’t mean that you have never sinned, but that you always try to make the next right decision.