Praise be
IIn order to survive traumatic loss, you have to faith. But faith in what? Faith you're going to be able to breathe the next day, faith you're child's soul is safe, faith that this was for a reason. But where does that faith come from?
If you haven't already figured, I am not a member of any religion. I consider myself an Ominist. “Omnism is the respect of or belief in all religion.”-Wikipedia. Despite being brought up in the Christian/White/Dominant culture, I've always felt this way. I respect whatever path people use to find their connection to a higher purpose, as long as its rooted in love.
Well, if you aren't into having religion shoved down your throat, you better not let your kid die. Every religion has their beliefs about death, and every religion impresses upon you that you will feel peace and strength on your loss if you would just only lean onto their belief system. And every person you meet will regurgitate their favorite religious text or story so you can understand. And in case you were wondering, no story I've been told and no story I've read has touched on it. There aren't words in our language, only feelings that radiate around us. I understand why people do this-its a way they’ve found answers and hope you can to. It’s sincere, but unless it’s a direct experience, I can see it for what it is-a way to alleviate and pass off their own discomfort and inexperience in the matter to the only higher being they know.
And you hear the same type of rhetoric-You're sad and suffering because you haven't found Jesus. Your son died as a way for you fulfill your Karma. You are being punished for your sins. None of this brings peace or reassurance. The bottom line is that many religious people use your pain, suffering, and loss as a way to covertly emphasize that you earned this by not living a just life. Accidently and unconsciouslly reinforcing the ever looming idea that you deserved this, that its your fault. And if you turn your life over to their ways, your suffering will end.
But, the thing that feels the most hypocritical is that religious people refuse to accept my understanding of my sons death because it doesn't align with their beliefs. I know why he died. I understand the plan and purpose. I accept some of the suffering, knowing it’s for the greater good. Children that die ARE higher beings by the nature of the intense impact they have on the world around them. Every person that was close to him reexamined their relationship with life, death, and the nature of their existence. Every person thats reading this is doing that now. We look at perfect, healthy, smart children and can comprehend the wonder and beauty that our creator provides. But seeing a childs still body-Nothing will prompt you to look for a god faster and with a more fierce hunger for answers.
And, Ive found a lot of answers (the hard way). I’ve had to look within and understand that I've been given a harsh assignment of being an example of hope and strength-if I can survive and grow through this with integrity and love-so can you. Will a preachers sermon ever give you sentence that will stop you from BEGGING on the ground for the flicker of light in your soul to take another breath? Nope. That’s not in a speech, it’s in one of the cells in your body that’s still there from when your body carried his. You can only find that for yourself. Can the words of a MAN ever convey the feelings of creation that our bodies carry-that the spark and intensity of a mothers love can literally bring a child back from the dead. Why hasn't a religion taught me that I (ALL mother's) possess that magic. I’ve also had to look out-to the stars, to the tress, to the air. To *unwillingly accept that I have a strong connection to higher spirits and to know and trust the guidance of an almost tangible angel. I have a place in both realms-a mother cant abandon their child. A book can’t teach you that you that that connection is real. The faith is within.
I hope people can see that this isn't a condemnation of religion, but an expansion of what loss, death, and our thought process on how we can empathize with others experiences.
Praise be Ian 💕
In Hebrew Baby Names the meaning of the name Ian is: Gift from God.
In Scottish Baby Names the meaning of the name Ian is: Gift from God The Gaelic form of the name John.